I have found the beauty...

I wrote a poem called Beauty from Ashes. This is just a glimpse of this poem. 

"Broken is what I’ve been,
Broken is what allowed
God’s grace to shine
to me like never before.

With the ashes
of my past
I have found BEAUTY."

I am finding beauty in the ashes of my past. For from the ashes my God is molding me into the woman who He wants me to be. He is raising beauty from brokenness and pain. From the outside, I always looked like everything was going great. While all the while I was truly hating my life and what I looked like. I fought with constant thoughts of worthlessness and ugliness. Often, I remember looking into the mirror and seeing nothing but a "monster" looking back at me. How would any man want to marry me? I wasn't the "perfect" weight that and size that I saw on TV and in magazines. I started down a slippery slope of self hatred at a young age (it started to take root in elementary school). I had girls and boys telling me I wasn't pretty enough or thin enough. The thing is that I believed them. I didn't cling onto my first love the LORD. I allowed that lie to start a wedge between Jesus and myself. I was hurting, oh how I was hurting. Fast forward to my college years. I went to college in a state of brokenness. Little did I know that it would get worse before I saw the light. Out of all of that brokenness, shame, and hurt. My God was working it all together for my good and for His glory. For out of the rubble of my past His love and mercy is found. 

Looking back, even though it is riddled with scars I would never change my past. For in the scars, the stories of how truly far my God's grace reaches is found. In the scars there is found the story of my freedom and "resurrection". For the old Stormy is gone and the new creation in Jesus (the new Stormy) is here. It isn't by any of my own efforts, it is only by the Grace of my God I am who I am today. The point of this post is that no matter how dark it may feel right now, know this... there isn't a depth that His love and mercy can not reach. I do not regret choosing to follow Jesus. For this life is just a vapor... however, I have been given eternal life. I have a best friend, love, Savior, King, Lord, and much more in my Jesus. My life since I truly decided to follow Jesus has been full of its ups and downs... but it is worth every low. Even in the lowest moments I know that He is there with me. If you ask those who truly know me if I have changed... their answers would all be yes. With the LORD, all things truly are possible. You can make it through the complete brokenness of your heart and life. I make it through those moments only because of Jesus and His peace within me.  May my life be a beautiful example of the love of Jesus and His grace. My prayer is that I never forget how far He has brought me. Also, that He would use me to impact the lives of those around me for His glory and kingdom. 

I would like to end with this: "In the ashes of my past, I have found beauty!"     

-Stormy