The last few days I have been flooded with insecurities of my past. As the insecurities came crashing in so did the old lies that have been spoken over me since I was young. I have been told because, those words spoken flood my mind it is because I haven't truly forgave. I don't choose to go there to the hurt and pain of my past. Yet, there are times that I feel like I am hit with my past as a distraction for what God has for me. An effective way to get my eyes off of my LORD and on myself. It is something that I have to fight and take every thought captive.
I am writing this, because I am pleading with you to watch the words you speak over the girls and women in your life. Sometimes, the things spoken cut deep: even if that is not what you mean. Then a seed of doubt of her worth is planted. Causing her to question her worth and if she will ever measure up. Build up the women in your life with God honoring words that speak of her true worth. Let her know that you love her and let her know in what ways she shines beauty. Beauty, comes from SO much more than from the physical appearance.
I am also, writing this so that you may see just another part of my heart. I want the women in my life to know that if they struggle with body image issues that they are not alone. As I am writing this I am having to take the thoughts captive that are shouting: "You are not good enough, You need to lose weight: do whatever it takes, If you lost the weight then you would be beautiful and then you would find your husband, Who is going to love you for the bows and ribbons you wear in your hair?, You just need to get your willpower back and deny yourself...." Those are all things that have been said to me over my years. Then seeing some pictures of myself during my trip just fed the lies that came crashing into my mind... "who will love me when I look like I do?" It has shaken me once again and my God has allowed them to surface again so I can deal with more of the heart issues that are found in my Insecurity.
One of my dear friends and sister in Christ spoke truth into my heart this afternoon. There is a deeper issue than just my want or need to want to be thin. The words and hurt of my past need to be uprooted. He is the only one who can truly rid me of myself and that which tries to bind me. My hands are opening up in a deep surrender. I don't want to ever go back to the girl who resorted to great efforts to be "beautiful" which led me down even more self destructive behavior. I have the choice to either accept the lies as truth (holding tightly to them) or as lies (taking them captive and replacing them with His truth). I am choosing tonight to take them captive and to hold ever tighter to His word, the truth, my worth rests in Him.
Men, please pray for the women in your life. Build them up in prayer, for there has been a war waged on the women and young girls in this world. The enemy, would love to see nothing more than women to be trapped in a life of lies and bondage. Biblical womanhood is under attack and so are the minds of the younger generations. It breaks my heart to see teenage girls riddled with such lies that they turn to self-destructive behaviors. For I once stood where they are. I am watching with each year the age getting younger and younger. I wish that the beauty of womanhood was still held so highly and with reverence. Love the girls and women in your life well. Seeking the LORD on how to lead and speak truth into their lives. Men, please lead and protect them. Help the girls and women in your life to protect their precious hearts. Hearts, that were fashioned to be in communion with the Lord and to be protected (I might get slack for that).
In ending, I would like to share a poem that I wrote. When I share one of my poems I am sharing a piece of my heart. It isn't always easy... but I felt the Lord lead me to be transparent tonight. Know that your worth is spoken in that Jesus was willing to lay down His life for you. Your worth isn't in your clothes size, your weight on the scale, your relationship status, etc. However, it is found in Him the author and finisher of your life. I pray, that if you don't know Jesus that you would come to know Him. Know that you are loved.
In love,
-Stormy
Insecurity
Insecurity is a funny thing,
one minute I'm fine and then,
the next I'm riddled with,
all the insecurities of my past.
Is there ever going to be
a day when I'm not forced
to face the years of insecurity
within my mind?
So many days I become SO tired,
I can't face these things on my own.
It is only with you my LORD
that I find peace from my insecurities.
Why, do some days I see myself
through your eyes my God?
And see the beauty that is truly there.
And then the next day,
I find myself, seeing the monster
That I call my face?
Why do I feel like I must compare?
I will never be the size two
I see in the magazines.
I know I wouldn’t be happy that size.
So why do I think I must be that way,
to be deemed beautiful?
What the world says is beauty,
is not what my God deems beautiful.
So with each day I must enter,
in communication with my LORD,
and see myself the way He does.
In the days that this is difficult,
I must hold on tighter to my God
and the promises that He has
spoken to me in His word.
For I am His and He is my Beloved,
and no one or this world can,
remove me from the palm of His hand!
In this I see my beauty comes from,
Him my God and not any worldly man.
For I am beautiful in the eyes of my Beloved.
By. Stormy Dorsey
No comments:
Post a Comment