Mask Anyone?

How many times do we feel like we have to wear a mask to be accepted or loved? Often, I feel like our lives are filled with putting on the mask of "perfection". Heaven forbid that we show our weakness and our pain. God has been showing me that often I myself fall into this rut of putting on my mask. The mask that says: "I am great, school is going great, my life is great, I am not struggling with anything (God has healed me)". Wow!, through God's conviction on my heart and life He has shown me that often I hide behind His saving grace. I am not transparent like we are called to be. I am not saying, that God has not done a great work in my life, He definitely has and I will be the first one to tell you this. But I put on the front that I no longer struggle with the things of my past. It is truly a daily battle for my mind, it is where I have to take every thought fully captive and make it fully pleasing to God. However, I do not feel like I can honestly tell others this. I feel like I get looked down upon, but if I do not share where I have been and what I struggle with. Then you will not truly know how far His mercy and grace has went in my life. I would be hiding the greatest thing that has ever taken place in my life, the joy, peace, and freedom that I have found at His holy feet.

Why are we afraid to show who we once were? Yes, we become new creations in Christ Jesus, when we come to Him. But does that mean we have to forget where we came from? By NO means! The things that were meant for evil in our lives, God meant it for good. So all of the social taboos surrounding things we may have struggled with like: depression, eating disorders, self-harm, drug abuse, alcoholism, pornography, etc. Should have no hold on us, because God has SET us FREE! Do you understand the greatness of that? The things that we have struggled with and are tempted to go back to are the things that God can use in our lives to reach those around us who may be struggling with the same things we once were. However, there is a difference now... you have Jesus and His light, while they are still sitting alone and afraid in the dark. Why, would we want to hide this light?

I personally, do not want to hide behind the mask of "perfection" any longer. I am so tired of feeling like I have to hide who I once was and where God has brought me. There should be a celebration when it comes to the day that Jesus set us free, but instead I have found that I am met with a disgust that I would even think about bringing up my past. I was always taught that it is important to move on, but to NEVER forget where you came from. Because in ones past there is the things that God was doing that drew that person to Himself. Why, would I want to forget the things that God allowed to happen in my life to bring me to Himself and to be able to help others who are where I once was? Honestly, I have found that it is when I hide who I once was out of shame is the time that I want to return the my past life. Because, why remain free from it when one can not feel free to share the change that has taken place? There is power in the spoken word. We as Christians, need to watch what we say when we are reaching out to others. What truths are we speaking to peoples lives? That there is freedom in Jesus but you are not allowed to speak of where God has brought you from? I believe that we as believers have the responsibility to share with the lost the power and how far Grace really goes. What good is our past if we are not willing to allow God to use it for His glory?

I have found it to be extremely difficult to get out of the habit of putting on my mask. It is something that God is working with me daily. Often, I find myself giving the safe answers when really I want to scream: "I am feeling broken and what is going to take for you to love me for me?" My responses are automatic so many times... responses that have been spoken as the acceptable responses from the time I was young. Why, do we pass the mask on to the following generations? There is no freedom and love behind the mask. I have only found pain and turmoil within myself when wearing it.

I feel like God is calling me to share this with others. I am making an effort to rid myself of the mask... this is not going to be some easy thing for me to do. However, with God and His strength I know that I can become transparent and allow myself to be real. My God is the one who defines me... not man, the media, friends, or family. Therefore, today and everyday I am going to make a effort to put away the mask. While holding onto my God's hand and looking to Him for direction in what words I speak.

Who is willing to take this journey with me?

Remember this I love you but most importantly Jesus love you!

Stormy

Ps. Photo from photobucket by Ninja_Kittycat